LA Catfights
It is NOT easy for a girl in LA.
A girl in LA has some TOUGH competition from other girls when she goes out, at least in Hollywood. This isn’t the minor leagues. This is big-time.
A friend of mine, a cute black girl who in any other city in the country has no problem getting male attention, says that in LA she feels like “Biggie Smalls in a dress.” And I quote. It’s just that there’s SO much competition. These girls take it VERY seriously.
Another friend’s sister takes 3 hours to get ready. Three whole, entire hours. That really is a lot of time. The finished product is amazing, but 3 hours? That’s 160 minutes. Or 180, if I could actually multiply properly. That’s six episodes of The Office. That’s the combined time that I actually work during a day. Okay, a week. Let’s keep it real, Cherie, keep it real.
I was outside of a club the other night and these girls walked up looking like Playboy Bunnies. I even made a joke to my friend about how all the girls in LA dress like Playboy Bunnies and how hard it is these days to tell a club girl from a prostitute.
Turns out they really WERE Playboy Bunnies. The first person we see inside the club is Hugh Hefner surrounded by these little blonde girls. EIGHTY YEAR old Hugh Hefner, I might add. Grandpa Hugh. I personally think it’s all for show these days. Or maybe I just prefer to think that it is so I don’t have to visualize what goes on behind those closed doors. Not what you want to think about right before you go to sleep. Not the stuff that sweet dreams are made of.
But seriously, how is your average, everyday girl supposed to compete with actual Playboy bunnies? Not that I’m actually interested in competing with them per se. I personally have NO desire to get their prize, an 80 year old shriveled up D attached to a fake tanned capped teeth toupee wearing man. No thank you. That’s very kind of you, but I’ll pass. BUT, you can’t help but do a little comparison when these girls are right in front of your face. It’s only natural.
I guess that’s just a time when you have to pump yourself up. Everyone has that friend who’s a natural pumper-upper, right? “Cherie, your hair looks SO good.” “Where’d you get that top. It’s SO cute.” You just have to be that friend to yourself. Pump yourself up like there’s no tomorrow. And you’ll be just fine.
