Dating Daze

So it seems I have a bit of a problem. And admitting you have one is the first step in making it better, right? (Not talking about the addiction to interracial porn either, which has since been resolved by the way, thank you very much. It’s all about the ‘chance office encounter’ these days.)

Anyway, here’s the problem: What started out as a simple educational fun ‘hobby’ learning about the different astrological signs has quickly graduated into a full-fledged obsession. I’m officially obsessed.

Before, I was just interested in how the moon, stars and planets all work together to determine certain aspects of your personality. I was casually living my life in blissful idealistic Aquarius-istic ignorance. “Oh, you’re a Scorpio? Cool!”

But now, it’s a different story. Getting a little carried away over here. I have to know the sign of anybody and everybody I remotely come into contact with. Immediately. I’m on a mission until I find out too, concocting ways to discretely work it into the conversation and then excusing myself to race home and read up on their astrological sign. I’m exclusive with my sign-atology, all judgmental n shii’, assuming people have certain traits based solely on that all-important sign.

It’s even become a frequent talking point during my sit-downs with the universe where we discuss what I’d like my future husband to be like. It never used to make it onto the agenda before, but now it comes up a lot, even dominating at times, with me furiously insisting he be ‘a compatible’.

But the epiphany that I’m taking this too far came when I heard myself encouraging a friend who’s thinking of painting a wall in her apartment “Pisces blue” so her potential man will feel “safe and comfortable” there. I was like:

Oh, good. Good for you. Do it. That’s genius!

This has to stop. Can’t be healthy.

I even started a chart for myself based on my previous experiences with each sign for easy reference so I wouldn’t have to do the ‘Capricorn’ or the ‘Pisces research’ time and time again. Work smart, not hard. It’s the only way to get ahead in this world my people.

I’ll share my little cheat sheet with you, but keep in mind that it’s written with an Aquarius bent. I tried to be neutral, but there’s only so much I can do. I am what I am. An Aquarius to the bone. Cien por ciento. Independent, rebellious, aloof but friendly at the same time, idealistic, unrealistic, forward-thinking, opinionated. That’s me Gee.

And please don’t take anything personal ladies if I say something negative about your sign. They say that men and women of the same sign are very different. My college boyfriend and I had the exact same birthday, yet we saw extremely differently on many issues, (faithfulness being one of them, even though that’s a story for another time.)

So here’s all the ‘wisdom’ I’ve racked up of late. Do with it what you will:

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Pisces

Needy m*thaf*ckas. You’ll get sucked in at first because they’re so nice and friendly, but will soon tire of the separation anxiety they exhibit if you don’t talk to them five hundred times a day.

They don’t find it humorous either if you answer their question about how you are with, “I’m good, thank you, the same ‘good’ I was the last time we talked which was five minutes ago.” They’ll get all hurt and sensitive and then you have to do damage control and fawn over them until they feel better.

You’ll never know where you stand with them, because they’ll say one thing and then do another. They’ll be shouting, “I love you!” over their shoulder as they run in the opposite direction. There are a lot of inconsistencies in that dream world of theirs’.

They’re very intuitive, psychic even. And let’s not forget selfish. They say every woman has a Pisces in her past, and just as I was finally getting over mine, after months of no contact, he decided to call me on the other line at the exact moment I was talking to someone new. Just had to call right them to throw a little salt in my game, didn’t ya? I still don’t understand how he knew to do that. Incredible.

Geminis

My all-time favorite. Love a Gemini! We just seem to go together. Like ice cream and cake.

Are talkers. True chatterboxes. Will talk your ear off about everything under the sun, so be ready for constant communication. And you’ll have to learn to love both sides of them too, because they’ll switch back and forth like it’s no thang.

Libras

Extremely sensual. Have the romance thing down pat and will make you feel like a goddess. One even told my friend on a first date, “You know, I am a fantastic lover.” ;0) Apparently it’s a proven fact though. That’s what they’re made for.

A Libra kissed my fingers once while giving me a sensual seduction, and WOW. It was phenomenal. He eventually stopped by saying, “I want to kiss you everywhere, as it becomes available of course.” But I think he already knew he had me. Had me at the fingers. I was like, “Sold! Wrap it up.”

I would refrain from asking them any questions though, even rhetorical ones. They will take 10 years to decide. I’m still waiting for answers from a few of them as a matter of fact. Figure out ‘Sushi or Thai?’, ‘For here or to go?’ and ‘Pad Thai or Gapow?’ on your own. You’ll be a lot happier.

Virgos

Materialistic. You probably shouldn’t make an offhand comment to a guy you like about how you think “men who drive nice cars are kind of pretentious” without bothering to check if he’s a Virgo and drives a Porsche first as you might feel a little stupid afterward.

Scorpios

Run. (Even though anyone who knows me knows I haven’t run in about five years and just do this half-jog, half fast-walk thing. Which is a problem since there’s no half-stepping with a Scorpio. They’re an intense people.) But get outta there anyway you can. You two are oil and water. You’ll forget all this at the beginning because of how sexy and passionate they are btw.

But don’t worry, the jealousy, games, controlling nature, ulterior motives, and calculations two or three moves into the future will soon come to remind you. By then it’ll be too late though. They’ll have manipulated you into being their one and only, and good luck extracting yourself from that one.

If you do try to break free, be extremely careful. Be afraid too. Watch your back. Because the wrath of a Scorpio is not something to be taken lightly. When they feel wronged, they will get their revenge, some way, some how. Oh, they’ll get theirs all right. Maybe they’ll put a hex out there with your name on it, or maybe they’ll turn their evil eye on you when you least expect it. But something will go down. If anyone knows how to do that stuff, it’s them. They’re well connected in matters of the occult nature. They roll deep.

You know better. Remember what your Nana used to say: “If you play with fire..”

Sagittariusssss

Won’t mince words. And don’t expect tact to be one of their strong points. They mean well, but won’t think twice about giving you the book Veronica Decides To Die as a ‘nice distraction’ while you’re recovering from a serious surgery and you’ve just put your dog to sleep and your mom has breast cancer. Won’t understand why you think that might not necessarily be the best time to read that particular book either.

Still part of the “Air Sign Family” though. Part of my crew, my dawgs. We break rules, break laws.

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Now I know my list is incomplete, but I’ve been trying to give it a rest as I wean myself off the whole astrological thing. Because I’ve got to stop thinking of someone’s sign as the ‘be all end all’. It’s just one more piece of the puzzle, that’s all it is.

It’s absolutely crazy to be writing off people based on their sun sign alone, especially when there are so many other factors involved. Like what their moon and rising signs are. ;0) And don’t forget about where their Venus is… Not to mention their parents’ signs, since apparently ‘we learn it by watching you!’ Jeez, I know way too much.

Everyone deserves a unique assessment though. We’re each by-products of so many different things, a combination of nature and nurture. You can’t judge a book by its cover. I need to stop making snap judgments about people before giving them a chance, which is hard for me to understand since being judgmental is part my Aquarius-ness. It’s what I do.

I’ll get there someday though. Baby steps, Cherie. Baby steps. Your Aquarius cousin is happily married to a Scorpio, so what does that tell you?

Besides, haven’t we gone over this already with the whole age thing? The sum of the parts and the big picture are what matter. Must we do this again? There are an awful lot of love and life lessons out there to be learned. You’ve gotta start transferring knowledge across subjects if you plan on getting anywhere.

Yes, a compatible sign would be ideal. One indication that all systems are a go, I’ll give you that. But you can’t take everything as a sign, even when dealing with the signs. Life is one big road with lots of signs; you can’t possibly follow every single one.

You’ve met many a person who’s compatible sign-wise but it’s just not there otherwise. Be on the lookout for those deeper, more important signs of compatibility, like common values or a similar sense of humor. Whatever astrological sign he ends up being will be just fine. It’s all written in the stars anyway, right? Que sera sera.

However, it’ll still probably be quite some time before I stop holding my breath and crossing my fingers every time I pop the bday question. Old habits die hard I guess.

P.S.  I take back everything negative I said about Pisces.  I just hung out with my guy friend who’s a Pisces and he’s so so nice and just a wonderful overall person.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d just talked trash about his kind, so I’ll just fix it here and hopefully he’ll never be the wiser.  Pisces are a beautiful people.  Don’t listen to a word I said about them.  I might be crazy.   

This entry was posted Friday, July 25th, 2008 at 11:32 pm and is filed under Dating advice, Dating By Astrological Sign. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.